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- Letting go of the Rat Race for Good (Two-Part Series):
Letting go of the Rat Race for Good (Two-Part Series):
Part 2: How to break cycles that perpetually leave us exhausted and unsatisfied.
Sophia Howard
April 17, 2024
Hola friends, from Antigua, Guatemala! Thank you to all my readers who enjoyed part 1 of this series where we explored the confines of the rat race, understanding its grip and the urgent need for change. That piece was released back in October before the world went crazy (er) and, let's say it's been quite the ride since then. But here we are, resilient and ready to dive deeper into the topic that seems to resonate more profoundly with each passing day.
I also want to thank all the listeners who attended my chat, “Had Enough?- Redefining your relationship with all your stuff!” last week with my good friend and fellow solopreneur, Emily O.Weltman. Unfortunately, the recording let us down, but we will be having another talk soon! The discussion was illuminating, highlighting the interconnectedness between being ‘enough’ and the rat race mentality.
It’s been 6 months- have you had enough yet?
It's becoming increasingly evident that the pursuit of more possessions and achievements often leaves us feeling depleted rather than fulfilled. And so, in this second part of our series, we're going to delve into the practical steps to break free from these cycles that perpetually leave us exhausted and unsatisfied.
Though the BS began long before October 7th, the last 6 months have made it very clear to us is all that enough is enough and change is urgently needed.
Change begins at home.
Change requires action.
And action requires attention.
The rat race ensures we stay limited in time and distracted in our little bubbles from what truly matters.
"The more we engage in the rat race, the more we forget that we're all in this together."
How do we make real change?
We begin by breaking the rat-racing cycles that perpetually leave us exhausted and unfulfilled.
The Reality Check
Bleep, bleep BLEEP, siren sounds blare from my alarm. Every day since I was what, 11? Catching 2 trains and a bus each way to school on the other side of London, life as a teenager felt very tiresome.
What was exciting was imagining all the cool things I could do as a grown-up if I went to school and worked hard.
Bleep, bleep, BLEEP... 15 years later, the same alarm screeches.
But this time, what am I looking forward to? Another year in the office? More 1-hour trips on the sweaty, packed tube? More surface-level conversations with colleagues and friends?
Little me always used to think: “Why are adults always moaning?” Until I became the same burnt-out 20-something-year-old, feeling lost, sick of the rat race, and desperately seeking more purpose and joy.
After 3 years of living a lifestyle of more freedom and joy, I’ve learnt that pursuing a simpler way of life means that balance and fulfilment go hand in hand, and the rat race provides neither of those.
Breaking the Burnout Cycle- For Good
“The whole thing was unnatural, and the absurdity of it all struck me: even after you’ve left the rat race, the pressure to chase, achieve, and meet societal expectations is deeply ingrained and damaging to our minds, bodies, and souls”- Part 1, Leaving the rat race for good.
Unravelling the threads of a mindset deeply entrenched in our collective consciousness is not an overnight endeavour. Breaking cycles beckons a deliberate effort and a conscious choice to challenge societal norms. Where do we begin?
By beginning the process of unlearning and letting go. Here are some hard, but transformative steps I’ve taken these last few years, which can help us lead lives of lasting joy and fulfilment. This week, I have added some actions for you to begin to let go of the rat-racing mindset. I invite you to give them a go, and reach out to me with any questions or outcomes!
1. First and foremost… Letting go of Numbers…
We all know, that numbers speak.
Numbers inform our decisions.
Numbers affect EVERYTHING under capitalism.
But the relentless metrics society uses to measure success hold us captive in the rat race. Our bodies, our minds, our souls and the infinite possibilities we are capable of creating for are being held for ransom.
Letting go of numbers, means understanding and embodying that your worth is not determined by the digits in your bank account, the square footage of your house, or even the digits on a bathroom scale. When we start to let go of numbers, we enable ourselves to seek out alternative paths to achieve our desires. Even with numbers determining most of what we do under capitalism, there are ways to bring your desires to life. But it takes a little out-of-the-box thinking…
It begins with looking for alternatives to achieve the things you want. For example, after realising my funds to travel were running low, I learnt how to travel with less money. I realised travel is less about luxury and more about connection, resilience and growth. With the introduction to minimalist travel, volunteering and housesitting, I’ve learned how to travel slower and better without a huge wallet.
Action1: Get real with the numbers
Think about what you truly value and desire in life beyond what numbers can quantify. Consider the alternative paths and approaches that align with your values and priorities, and look up communities aligned with your vision. Facebook is excellent for this. Start by identifying one area where you can let go of the pressure to measure success solely by numbers, whether it's in your career, relationships, lifestyle, or personal goals.
2. Slowly but Surely, Letting go of Opinions…
Holding onto the opinions, judgments and expectations of others is suffocating. Often our family members, friends, and colleagues (who are caught in the same cycle) have something to say. But what does their ‘advice’ offer really?
Letting go of opinions means recognising that you can't control what others think or say about you. No matter what you do. The only thing within our control is our opinion of ourselves and how that impacts our mental state.
It's understanding that your self-worth is not determined by external validation. But that the only approval you need is your own. Society and close ties may judge you. However, in valuing your own opinions and authenticity above all else, you free yourself from the shackles of external judgment and the race to impress.
Action 2: Identify whose opinions you are listening to
Identify areas in your life where you feel overwhelmed by the opinions and expectations of others. To secure a house? A relationship? To fulfil career aspirations? Think about how their opinions impact your mental. I then want you to take proactive steps to set boundaries that protect your mental and emotional well-being and space. Whether it's limiting your exposure to negative influences or communicating your needs and boundaries to those around you.
3. Now, for the most important part… Unlearning and reframing our thoughts to cultivate joy.
Limited thinking and carrying deeply ingrained beliefs are probably the toughest barriers to overcome.
Mastering the art of letting go involves the courageous act of unlearning these self-imposed limitations. It's about recognizing that the stories we tell ourselves about our abilities, worth, and potential are not set in stone.
By challenging these old narratives and reframing our thoughts with self-empowering perspectives, you begin to liberate yourself from the chains that have held you back. The importance of mindfulness in this process is not to be underestimated.
Action 3: Challenge yourself to reframe your belief systems
Take some time this week to observe your thoughts and beliefs without judgment. Acknowledge any patterns of limited thinking or self-doubt. When these come up, identify how you can reframe negative thoughts with empowering perspectives, focusing on your strengths, capabilities, and potential for growth.
In this process, be sure to cultivate self-compassion and kindness towards yourself as you navigate this process of unlearning and reframing. Remember, change takes time and patience, so be gentle with yourself as you embark on this journey towards greater self-awareness and joy.
Conclusion:
As I’m walking further along this path, I’m realising the shifts toward lasting liberation from the cycles of burnout. Like many, I’ve felt very very jaded recently questioning- “What are we buying into?” and “When does it stop?”
The thoughts have kept cropping up since Palestine-Israel became big news 6 months ago. Plus given how many other global injustices have been brought into the light from Congo to Sudan and Haiti.
“Civil disobedience is not our problem. Our problem is civil obedience. Our problem is that people all over the world have obeyed the dictates of leaders…and millions have been killed because of this obedience…Our problem is that people are obedient allover the world in the face of poverty and starvation and stupidity, and war, and cruelty. Our problem is that people are obedient while the jails are full of petty thieves… (and) the grand thieves are running the country. That’s our problem.”
The journey toward freedom and joy begins with a conscious decision to break free from societal expectations. But what we also require is some radical imagination towards the future we want. The system, the matrix, the rat race the grind, the whole idea is getting sleepy. We are in a period of radical change, and that requires some radical and magical thinking.
This is a free post. If you would like to support my writing and journey, maybe you would consider buying me a coffee. For more info about my work and services, I have recently redesigned my website.
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