Don't mistake their ambitions as your own

As I sat the other day, I thought, what did I want at 5 years old?

Only a dream of playing Elma the colourful elephant in the school play. A modest ambition, but it was mine. I also loved writing stories and held visions of one day becoming a famous author like my favourites: Roald Dahl or Beatrice Potter.

Fast forward a few years, and my teenage ambitions shifted to more superficial desires such as boys, being popular and nice clothes.

When I hit 21, I’d graduated and my pursuits converted yet again. Like most people, to a house, a partner, and a successful career that would allow me to travel the world.

It seems somewhere along the path, external influences start to shape our aspirations in ways we could not have anticipated. Of course, our desires change as we get older. But are we living someone else’s dream or our own? It seems we pursue goals that are not our own, but those of society, family, or friends. Finding ourselves in disconnected and complex lives we’re not truly happy with. Probably, because we’re living for the things we’ve been told to want, rather than what we actually want.

Now, I’m soon to approach my 30th birthday- my ambitions have taken a completely different turn! I feel as though I’m finally returning to myself, and living the life I’d always dreamt of. Which is simply, doing more of what I love, like writing and travelling the world at my own pace.

How and when do we break free from others' expectations and find our own path to fulfilment?

Identifying External Influences

We’re all at some point a victim of it. Buying into what other people are selling us. The world is built on marketing and selling us something we don’t yet have, be it bigger, better, richer, or prettier, and it goes all the way back to the classroom.

The age of social media has brought these constant external influences into our homes. When we constantly get a peek into the lives of others, we can feed our desires and ambitions. Everyone is an influencer these days now that we can make money selling our lives to others. But are the people selling it even truly living the dream?

Even I don’t post all the hardships of travelling long term and living minimalist out of a backpack. I’ve identified recently, though this is my dream, it is NOT EVERYONES.

The key is to identify what is your dream. Being honest and recognising what external influences you are buying into. The first step is to identify the external influences that impact our aspirations, such as societal pressure to conform to certain norms, family expectations, or the influence of friends and colleagues. When we recognise these influences, we can start to separate our own ambitions from those that are imposed on us. In freeing ourselves, we can start actualising and creating what brings us true fulfilment.

Defining our own success once we've identified external influences.

It's SO important to define our own vision of success. This means reflecting on what truly matters to us and what we want to achieve in life. Whether it's starting a business, travelling the world, or pursuing a creative passion, our definition of success should be aligned with our own values and aspirations.

What does success mean to you?

To me, it means living truthfully, as your authentic and joyful self today. Not one day, 'when I've got my 'perfect' job, my house, my car, my partner' etc etc.

Because today is all we have. 

Defining what success looks like to you, allows you to set intentions towards creating your own success. Start by putting the message out there to the universe, the rest seems to flow from there. When we’re clear on our intentions and we clarify what we truly value, we begin to attract the right situations and people to align with our ambitions.

Overcoming fear and trusting the path

I believe that settling for an unfulfilling life can often stem from fear and doubt about our own abilities and potential for success. But to overcome this it's important to be deeply honest with our fears and confront them head-on. Only by doing this can we take actionable steps towards our true goals and fulfilment.

It may seem beyond what you think you can achieve, but what if? What if living your dream and not that of others is actually possible?

Taking actionable steps could involve seeking out mentors or support networks, breaking down our goals into manageable steps, and learning from failure as we go.

Closing Thoughts

Are you living someone else’s dream or your own? While it can be a tempting path, it's ultimately a recipe for dissatisfaction and unfulfillment. Yet, by identifying external influences, defining our own success, and overcoming fear and doubt, we can pave the way for a more authentic and fulfilling path in life. True to what we really want and need.

As a solo, full-time traveller living out of a backpack, my biggest endeavour now is to prioritise joy. It’s to not allow anxieties of the future or traumas of the past to define my joy today. And who knows about the rest? Once again, it's a dream that feels truly mine, and though it’s taken me a long time to get here, I am here now.

It's never too late to start pursuing our own dreams, and the first step is simply to believe in ourselves and our own potential.

Hola, Sophia here! A former career girl turned full-time slow traveller. Most travellers like to tick boxes and follow itineraries. I like to go slow, explore and improvise- unveiling the magic of a simple life on the road. I’m a free spirit, simple-life seeker and overseas volunteer who embraces slow travel and simple living as a means to discover beauty and joy across the world. Join me on the journey by signing up for my new weekly newsletter: Unlocking Simplicity.